What the fuck is wrong with me? I have one of the most perfect guys here waiting on me and I’m here wasting my time. Being some dumb fuck. All cause another guy likes me and I like him but he isn’t gonna have time for me and he is SOO sweet to me so he doesn’t wanna hurt me by not having time for me. I know the first guy would be the best choice and all but I just DON’T KNOW! Like what the Hell is wrong with me?? I can say I’m tired of being hurt and led on and that I’m tired of waiting on boys but how would that makes sense?? Because I’m partly willing to wait a bit on the second guy and the first wants to hang out and maybe see where that led. Sure I’m tired of being hurt and crap but c’mon now, it’s been months since I was actually hurt, shouldn’t I be ready to move on?? I guess not cause now I’m crying.. Maybe staying single for a while longer is what I should do.. But I HATE being single. Absolutely and completely hate it with all that I am. Because when I’m single I don’t have the acceptance I need emotionally. I’m a messed up girl and I know it, I should be as happy single as I am in a relationship but on the inside I’m not, I’m miserable if I don’t have attention from some special guy. I could have attention from lots of guys too but if one specifically doesn’t make me feel special somehow then I get upset I just don’t let it show, I smile every single day no matter how I feel inside cause I don’t wanna have to explain why I’m upset because they’ll think I’m just depressed and I hate being called depressed, especially since I’m happy 95% of the time, but they don’t remember that, they only remember me being upset, so I choose to smile instead. Maybe I’ll just go to sleep and dream away this mess, but then I’d wake up and be right back to where I’m at now…. But where is that? A big mess on the floor of my heart and I can’t get up I’m just laying here, unable to move for fear of falling one way or the other, someone just catch me this time cause I know I’ll fall eventually.. 3
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What the fuck is wrong with me? I have one of the most perfect guys here waiting on me and I’m here wasting my time. Being some dumb fuck. All cause another guy likes me and I like him but he isn’t gonna have time for me and he is SOO sweet to me so he doesn’t wanna hurt me by not having time for me. I know the first guy would be the best choice and all but I just DON’T KNOW! Like what the Hell is wrong with me?? I can say I’m tired of being hurt and led on and that I’m tired of waiting on boys but how would that makes sense?? Because I’m partly willing to wait a bit on the second guy and the first wants to hang out and maybe see where that led. Sure I’m tired of being hurt and crap but c’mon now, it’s been months since I was actually hurt, shouldn’t I be ready to move on?? I guess not cause now I’m crying.. Maybe staying single for a while longer is what I should do.. But I HATE being single. Absolutely and completely hate it with all that I am. Because when I’m single I don’t have the acceptance I need emotionally. I’m a messed up girl and I know it, I should be as happy single as I am in a relationship but on the inside I’m not, I’m miserable if I don’t have attention from some special guy. I could have attention from lots of guys too but if one specifically doesn’t make me feel special somehow then I get upset I just don’t let it show, I smile every single day no matter how I feel inside cause I don’t wanna have to explain why I’m upset because they’ll think I’m just depressed and I hate being called depressed, especially since I’m happy 95% of the time, but they don’t remember that, they only remember me being upset, so I choose to smile instead. Maybe I’ll just go to sleep and dream away this mess, but then I’d wake up and be right back to where I’m at now…. But where is that? A big mess on the floor of my heart and I can’t get up I’m just laying here, unable to move for fear of falling one way or the other, someone just catch me this time cause I know I’ll fall eventually.. 3
